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She was quick enough to close and bolt both doors before three home invasion terrorists could rush in. One of them got through the steel “security” door with one swipe of the hatchet. Then they took turns trying to batter the main door down. Our lives were saved by the fact that I had reinforced the striker plate of our steel clad front door by replacing those little bitty screws that come with the latch assembly, with some big, long ones that went clear into the 2x4’s of the house frame. The door frame was shattered, but it held until a neighbor scared them off.

After it was over, I went to see why Billy and Katy hadn’t barked. Katy was trembling behind the bed, and my good old fearless but deaf Billy woke up and said, “Hi, Dad, what’s up?” Then the sun came up and the cop arrived. My cousin said 911 is what you call to tell them where to send the hearse.




	o we went to the SPCA and found a big German Shepherd with excellent hearing and large teeth. His former mistress had given him up because an apartment didn't allow dogs. Now Rainer has a home with people who love him. I found out exactly what totally helpless feels like. They won't find helpless at this house again, because not only do we have a big scary dog, we also bought us a scary twelve guage shotgun and keep it loaded. Those of you who don't like that, please go away. Move to some country where you won't be offended by a Bill of Rights. Maybe Russia or China.
ust before dawn one recent Christmas season, Lynne let the cat out the front door and bent down to pick up the newspaper. As she was closing the metal security door, a creep who had been going through my car, apparently searching for a garage door opener, attacked her with a hatchet. She was quick enough to close and bolt both doors before three home invasion terrorists could rush in. One of them got through the steel “security” door with one swipe of the hatchet. Then they took turns trying to batter the main door down. Our lives were saved by the fact that I had reinforced the striker plate of our steel clad front door by replacing those little bitty screws that come with the latch assembly, with some big, long ones that went clear into the 2x4’s of the house frame. The door frame was shattered, but it held until a neighbor scared them off. After it was over, I went to see why Billy and Katy hadn’t barked. Katy was trembling behind the bed, and my good old fearless but deaf Billy woke up and said, “Hi, Dad, what’s up?” Then the sun came up and the cop arrived. My cousin said 911 is what you call to tell them where to send the hearse.

		ere is Rainer in Deep Canyon, way up in the mountains on the Middle Fork of the American River. Back to from whence you came.